Prometheus:
Jokes:
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| Dec 8th 5:00 P.M. It starts to snow. The first of the season and the first one I have seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift down clinging to the trees and shrubs and covering the ground. It was a beautiful sight. Dec 9th We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub was covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I shoveled both the driveway and the walk. Later a snowplow came along and accidentally covered up the driveway with compacted snow and ice from the street, the driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again. Dec 10th It snowed an additional 5 inches overnight and the temperature to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs had snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-grey. Dec 11th Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped below freezing. I bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway and that set me back $145.00 to the Chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More ice and snow is predicted. Dec 12th Still cold. Sold my wifes car and bought a 4 x 4 to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail and did considerable damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another 8 inches of the white sh** last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That ***d*mn snowplow came by twice today. Dec 13th 2 degrees outside. More f***ing snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. We tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over during the night and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on the way to emergency room and was totalled. Dec 14th ***d*mn-mother-f***ing white sh** keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the mailbox. If I ever catch that son-of-a-b**ch that drives that snowplow I'm going to chew up his chest and rip his heart out. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to shovel the driveway and then comes down the street at 100mph and buries the driveway again. Power is still off. Toilet froze up and part of the roof is sagging. Dec 15th 6 more ***d*mn f***ing inches of f***ing snow and f***ing sleet and f***ing ice and God knows what other kind of f***ing white sh** fell last night. I wounded the bast*rd that drives the snowplow with an axe but the mother-f***er got away. My wife has left me. Neither car will start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. I haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow is expected. Wind chill is -22 f***ing degrees. I'm moving back down South. |
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Prometheus:
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